With my daughter just moments, well a couple of weeks, from having her first child I would like to share a story on this almost mother.
I’m not quite sure what she was thinking, how she got her art supplies or why she chose the pure white cat to be her paint medium but her three year old self thought that it was somehow a good idea.
Her dad is a CPA and this just happened to be late March and my due date for our second child was about two weeks away. I was, as they say, “about to pop”. We were waiting for this ever vigilant CPA to finish up his long tax season day so it was after dinner time when I was trying to get comfortable on the couch.
I do not remember the words that came out of my mouth as a pure white cat strolls in on my light beige carpet with a hot pink painted butt and hip. All I could remember was gasping and my mouth flapping as I was trying to stop the cat from laying down and stamping pink cat fur prints on the beige carpet…did I tell you that the carpet was beige??? All I can remember was trying to waddle myself to the edge of the couch and push my stomach forward and somehow try to get up quickly…it wasn’t happening and just as I finally got into an upright standing position the cat laid down. Another gasp and a sigh of relief because the hot pink fresh paint was on his upside and his white cat fur was on the carpet.
There was only one other person in the house accept for me and the baby in my womb and she couldn’t be blamed for anything yet so I called out to my daughter wondering what else was hot pink. I guess my voice was scary and this young one started crying. This told me she was still in her room with her toys like I thought she was but that included a jar of hot pink paint! Looking at the relaxed half asleep cat and back at the other room the threat of more hot pink art made me go in for the jar. She started wailing, “Daddddddy, Daddddddy.” Like I had beaten her and all I did was take the little artist’s paint from her.
Running, well as fast as a waddling nine month pregnant woman can run, I made for the cat just as he started getting up. Bending over (that was a trick) and grabbing him my favorite top was forever cat stenciled with hot pink fuzzy like imprints. Taking him to the kitchen sink because at this point the bathtub wasn’t an option, I put the cat under water. The artist is still wailing, “Daddy, Dadddddy!” The cat is trying to claw my arm off. The pink paint was now dripping rivers of pink streams down his white feet making him look tye dyed and the phone starts ringing. Keeping the cat still in the water, grabbing the phone, it was dear CPA “Daddddy” on the phone checking in. I told him I was about to go into labor as he hears the wailing in the back ground and the cat hissing. I quickly explained the situation and got off…I noticed that he didn’t come home all that quickly, in fact, the cat was white and almost dry, the artist was whimpering in her bed and I was back on the couch trying to get my heart to settle down and the baby was having a kick ball session in my stomach as he walked in the back door! The wailing began again and the cat hid under the bed.
Moral of the story? I found out that cats usually lay consistently on their favorite side. Beige carpets are for the rich and whimsical. When things are a bit sticky husbands have perfect timing on not being around. And….I hope that my daughter locks up the paint, we have four dogs, light blue carpet and an artist on the way!
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